My wife Sarah and I have a good financial relationship. Sure, there are times when I feel like she spends too much on things like crafting supplies and extra camping gear, and there are times when she feels like I spend too much — usually on Kindle books or tabletop game items. We’re not perfect by any means, but we’ve reached a point where we’re clearly headed toward our shared goals and we recognize that we both are imperfect and make mistakes sometimes.

It wasn’t always this way. There were many times earlier in our relationship, particularly before we started taking our finances seriously, where we both perceived the other person as being financially selfish. I’d see Sarah getting tons of expensive coffees and believe in my head that she was the one being selfish and causing our financial problems, while she’d see me with a new video game or an armload of new…

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